Impariamo dagli uomini

by Ingegnere bionda, posted in Uncategorized

Vi descrivo una scena. Suona la sveglia alle 7.00, caffè preparato la sera prima per fare in fretta, camicia pronta, colazione mentre si scalda l’acqua della doccia, scarpe lucidate, chiavi della macchina, ventiquattrore, cellulari, via di corsa…

Stessa casa: mentre suona la sveglia, coperte sopra la testa per non sentire, colazione in pigiama sul divano dopo qualche ora, passeggiata in centro che rilassa… chi è lui e chi è lei? Vi posso dire che quella in pigiama sul divano non sono io! Lo so, una vita di eccessi, ma ho capito una cosa: dagli uomini si può davvero imparare tanto!

Ho visto a capodanno uno spettacolo teatrale di Maurizio Colombi, “The Caveman, l’uomo delle caverne” (consigliato a tutti!  www.caveman.it/it/lo-spettacolo/) in cui l’ironia trascinante del one man show si fonde con una verità assoluta quanto ovvia: siamo diversi. Uomini e donne sono diversi. Non migliori o peggiori. Diversi. Ma è dalla diversità che si impara. Se ho accanto un essere uguale a me, certo, posso essere gratificata dal riflesso di un’immagine che mi piace e posso continuare a chiedergli “chi è la più bella del reame?” ma, alla fine, cosa ho imparato? Stessi gesti, stesse decisioni, stessi dubbi, stesse insicurezze, stessi errori…

Gli uomini questo l’hanno sempre saputo. L’organizzazione, l’attenzione ai dettagli, le capacità relazionali, la cura del proprio aspetto, il senso di responsabilità,  la pazienza, l’umiltà, la sopportazione del dolore, la tenacia, la forza di volontà…. e potrei continuare…. sanno bene che l’altro genere è meglio dotato, non si mettono in competizione (troppa fatica!). Ma la loro genialità sta nel fatto che non hanno cercato di cambiare tali caratteristiche ma le hanno sfruttate a loro vantaggio! E così si sono fatti affiancare da segretarie, infermiere, casalinghe (hanno tutto il mio rispetto!), per scalare ogni vetta sociale dimenticando che i gradini della loro scala sono stati costruiti e lucidati dalle loro donne.

Ovviamente, quale antropomorfo con materia grigia annessa rinuncerebbe ad un harem professionale così faticosamente conquistato? Che interesse avrebbe a favorire la crescita o l’autonomia di un essere che potrebbe mettere in pericolo il suo senso di onnipotenza e di egocentrismo ipertrofico?

Per fortuna non sono tutti uguali e io ho anche incontrato uomini e capi davvero speciali. Ma sono rare eccezioni gli uomini che costruiscono e lucidano gradini per le donne. Il vero problema è che le donne hanno il gene super woman che non gli permette di accettare l’aiuto di nessuno. Primo errore. Quindi continuano ad aggiungere impegni, responsabilità, obiettivi, pretendendo di restare angeli del focolare, con i nomi dei figli tatuati sul cuore, desiderabili come Sharon Stone in “Basic Instinct”, fasciate da un tailleur su tacco 12, convinte di “avere un cervello per gli affari e un corpo per il peccato” (Melanie Griffith in “Una donna in carriera”). Volutamente non affronto il tema maternità perché merita decisamente un post dedicato.

Ma l’apice si raggiunge quando, una volta a casa, nella vasca idromassaggio con le candele accese trovano un uomo distrutto “dalla fatica di meeting e pranzi di lavoro”, ansioso di assaggiare le prelibatezze preparate con cura dalla sua donna (mentre era ferma al semaforo?!), e magari passare la notte ad assaporare il piacere del peccato… tanto alle 7 si alza lei!

Gli uomini sentono il sacrosanto diritto e dovere di riposarsi e di godere dei piaceri della vita. E hanno dannatamente ragione! Non si sentono in colpa per questo. Non pensano: “magari è stanca anche lei…. Forse se metto l’acqua sul fuoco mentre sono nella vasca riesco anche a preparare la cena per due e a rilassarmi….” Loro non pensano! Sono stanchi? Riposano. Vogliono aiuto? Lo chiedono. Non gli va bene qualcosa? Lo dicono. Vogliono stare soli? Se ne vanno. Vogliono essere felici? Ci chiamano. E non cambiano. Mai.

Tutto qui? Non può essere così semplice….Mi sfugge qualcosa?…. Mi dite perché se qualcuno vi chiede se preferite un capo uomo o donna c’è un accordo di genere nel rispondere “un uomo”?

Intanto, mentre elucubriamo sul magico potere della semplicità, impariamo da loro, impariamo anche noi a riposare, a chiedere, a godere della purezza di un momento senza ma e senza se, meno “ingegnere” e più “bionde” (http://www.lingegnerebionda.it/2017/01/29/ingegnere-o-bionda/).

Rimaniamo uniche e straordinarie anche se ci arroghiamo il sacrosanto diritto di vivere momenti speciali, senza sensi di colpa, usando quel rilassante monosillabo “no” unito a “adesso non posso”, “sono in riunione con me stessa”, “prendo nota e la richiamo”, “non raggiungibile”, “servizio non disponibile”… Scegliete voi, ma fermatevi… e partiamo da qui, insieme, per rendere quel momento perfetto.

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